People have been driving me crazy, lately.  While it happens a lot, right about now the frequency has become alarming.  The thing that is driving me crazy about people is their inability or unwillingness to use common expressions correctly.

I realize this is a small thing.  Maybe it means nothing to you and that's fine.  But, if you could do me a favor and, when you're within earshot, please try to be sensitive to my pet peeves.

You want an example, do ya? 

Okay, when you and I are working on a problem together and we have a half-baked idea for solving it we will have to get back together to "flesh it out" not "flush it out".  You see, "flesh" means to explain more completely and "flush" means to cause something to become more obvious.  If we were hunting together we might send the hound into the brush to flush out the birds.  Or, we may need to ask some questions in order to flush all of the customer's needs.

When you want to contact me again, you want to "touch base."  When you are playing baseball you'll want to "touch bases".  I know it's just an extra "s" but it seems to have touched a nerve with me.

If you are eager you might be "champing at the bit".  You would not, however, be "chomping at the bit".  While "champing" is an old, old word and "gnashing" might be a synonym, I do not think that "chomping" is either a synonym or appropriate.  Maybe you don't like "champing".  Well, I don't like "chomping" so if you can't get it right, be creative and make the expression your own.  Here's an example, My excitement is causing me to do "the wee wee dance."

In the event that everything is going our way you might be inclined to tell me that we are "in like Flynt".  But, you really mean that we are "in like Flynn". 

I realize that I'm being picky but allow me a couple of more opportunities to vent and I promise I'll be done - for a while.  "At the end of the day" appears to have nothing to do with today or tomorrow so I really don't know what day to which you refer.  Please stop it.

Also, extinguish "it is what it is" from your vocabulary.  I already know it is what it is.  What else could it be?  You've shed no light on the subject, whatsoever.  Why not just declare that at the end of the day it is what it is about everything?

For my part, I have eliminated saying "In no way, shape or form".  This is obviously a saying originated by lawyers and I'll have none of it.  I also refuse to say "I may or may not".  As in, I may or may not have cereal for dinner or I may or may not go to Greece for Christmas.  I encourage you to join me  in this exorcise before someone decides they may or may not smack us upside the head with an iron frying pan.

There are sayings popularized by technology geeks that some of us outside of technology have begun to assimilate.  Please do not tell us you want to "take this conversation off line" when you are seated at a conference table.  The conversation can not get any more offline than when you are physically using your voice to address another human being in their presence.  While you're at it, don't tell me that you don't have the "bandwidth" to get something done.  I'll be satisfied with "I don't have time" or "we don't have the manpower."

Affect is a verb.  Effect is a noun.  Irregardless is not a word.

While it's possible that you are thinking you "could care less", you probably mean that you "couldn't care less." 

While I'm often disappointed by the language people use, there are some writers out there that will never disappoint.  Check out this entry from Nesh Thompson with an unbelievable story about long term goal setting.

Another expert in putting together some sensible paragraphs is Brad Trnavsky of SalesManagement 2.0 who hands the reins over to a guest author to discuss the politics of change during an election cycle when it seems everyone is talking about change.