There is, perhaps, only one activity more frustrating than golf and that would be . . . teaching golf.  I know this because I have been personally teaching golf for more than ten years with varying degrees of success.  Unfortunately for both of us, my only student during this time has been my son - Alex.

Alex is blessed with a tall, thin body.  His torso can turn on his hips well past ninety degrees without his head moving at all.  When he unwinds from his backswing the clubhead picks up speed until it is whipping through the ball in a blur that is quicker than the best major league fastball.  I've actually heard the ball scream in pain when he hits it just right.

Alex is cursed with the emotional maturity of a teen age boy.  Perfection is the only acceptable outcome on many days.  Missed putts have been followed by heavy stomping back to the cart and plaintive, rhetorical cries like,

"What is wrong with me?"

And the always popular

"Why can't I make anything?!"

Into this fire, I have stepped many a time.  Trying to be patient.  Trying to coach.  Trying to teach. 

We are now at hole #4, a 370 yard par 4.  Alex puts his drive into the middle of the fairway approximately 240 yards from the tee box.  He is happy.  Golf is good.

On his second shot, he hits it fat (the ground is struck behind the ball) and leaves it 10 yards short of the green.  He is not happy.  Golf is pain.

"No problem," I say "just a pitch and a putt for par."

Alex hates when I say that but he says nothing.  He has a lob wedge in his hands and takes a couple of practice swings.  Now, he lines up the shot, takes the swing and sculls the ball 20 yards over the green.

He screams, "I knew I was going to do that!"

I say, "You should have known you were going to hit it on the green."

An angry glare.

"Huh?"

"If you knew you were going to scull it and then you did, why not know that you are going to hit a high beautiful pitch that lands softly within six feet of the hole.  And do that."

"What you are saying makes no sense to me.  Just because I thought I was going to scull it over the green doesn't mean that if I thought I was going to hit it right I would do that."

"It might mean that."

"That doesn't make any sense.  I can't help what I'm thinking."

Some scientists have postulated that humans are the only animals that know they have a brain.  This comes in handy when you want your brain to do something that it isn't used to doing.  You can actually think about your brain and then, using that same brain, teach yourself to think differently.

Our brains seem to have two voices - one that says "Yes, We Can!" and one that predicts doom.  Of course, listening to the positive voice is important.  But, when we expect to make permanent changes to the way we see the world, we must not only listen to the positive voice we must learn to train our brains to only voice the positive.

Here's how:

1) Visualize the outcome you desire.  Whether we are talking about a golf shot or a sales presentation, having a keen understanding of what we want to happen is critical to making sure it does happen.

2) Tell yourself the outcome you desire will happen.  
    a) "I am going to strike this 6 iron in the center of the clubface and hit a majestic, arcing shot that lands in the center of the green."
    b) "I am going to present my proposal using the presentation that I have put together with confidence.  I will be very persuasive."

If you start to hear the Voice of Doom (VOD) you have a couple of choices:

A) Ignore the VOD.  If the VOD begins to convince you that something will go wrong and you can't ignore it, you might need to start over with visualization.

Stare down the VOD and win it over with a logical, passionate argument.
    i) "I've been practicing these shots and I know that I can hit it.  I'm in a perfect position and I'm playing very well.  I am definitely going to hit the shot that I can see in my mind."
    ii) "The presentation is very good.  I did a dry run with my sales manager just yesterday and he was impressed.  The proposal is exactly right for this client and I know that they will see it that way."

C) Find a friend, co-worker, manager or mentor who can be the second voice in your head when your "Yes We Can!" voice begins to falter.

We need to remember that the voice saying "Yes We Can!" and the VOD are coming from the same brain.  By practicing both the art of ignoring the VOD and winning the VOD over with a persuasive argument we will slowly eliminate the VOD from our lives altogether.

We are on the Par 4 360 yard 8th hole and Alex has just hit his drive into the woods on the right side.

"Aaaaccckk!  Now, I'll probably make a double bogey and have no chance of breaking 90!"

"I'm sure it's no problem.  You'll find the ball, pitch it out on the fairway, knock it on and make the putt for par."

"You always say that and it drives me crazy!  Is there never a time when you think the worst?"

"Not when it comes to your golfing skills.  I've seen you do exactly what I described dozens of times.  You have all the shots and I'm sure you can pull it off."

"Whatever."

We find the ball and there is a small opening for Alex to hit it onto the fairway.

"I'll probably hit a tree."

"If you say so.  But, there's plenty of room."

"Do you think?"

"Yes."

Alex knocks the ball onto the fairway and has 145 yards to the hole.  He hits a smooth 7-iron to about eight feet.

"Maybe, I still can make par."

"Of course, you've made hundreds of 8-footers.  This one is no different."

Alex surveys the green and decides on a line.  He takes a couple of practice putts and then addresses the ball.  Just when I thought he was ready to hit, he backs away.

"What happened," I say.

"Bad thoughts," he replied.

A quick look behind the ball to confirm the line and Alex is ready to go. 

We both smile as the ball drops in the cup.

"Aah," both teacher and student think, "there is hope after all."