Unproductive Behaviors
I crest the hill and am faced with a ribbon of tail lights that stretch into a blurry line of angry red. A rainy Monday morning commute. A sigh escapes me and I glance at the clock. Seven oh five, five minutes after seven. I always say the time that way to myself - mimicking the radio announcers with whom I spend my mind-numbing hours.
Headlights flash in my side view mirror and I'm startled to see a Honda Accord approaching rapidly from the rear. Startled because the headlights are in my right mirror and I'm in the right lane - stopped. The Honda is driving up the shoulder of the road passing dozens of cars! Perhaps, the driver is turning at the intersection ahead and figures that most of us are going straight. In this case, passing us illegitimately might seem almost reasonable. But, wait! The light at the intersection has turned green and the Honda has dived into a gap left by an unwitting driver.
My hands tighten on the steering wheel. Did the others in line notice this? Just then another car passes me on the right! What?! Are you kidding?! This guy is going much faster - apparently aware that his timing is slightly off. The cars in line are beginning to pick up the pace as traffic clears the intersection. The gaps are fewer and harder to enter because of the increased speed. Just before having to turn right at the intersection, the second car dives into a tiny space and goes straight through the intersection. This time the reaction of his fellow drivers is immediate. A chorus of honks rains on head and we all hit our brakes to avoid the multi-car collision that was sure to follow.
I am livid! I punch the passenger seat. Something must be done, but what? Now, I'm moving forward and getting closer to clearing the intersection. I wonder if I'll be able to catch up to these miscreants and teach them a lesson about courteous driving. The light turns yellow and the car ahead of me hits his brake. No! I jerk the wheel to the right and punch the gas - exploding into the intersection and nearly colliding with cars that had just earned the right of way. Spinning the wheel to avoid a collision I see the most horrible sight a driver ever experiences - pedestrians in the cross walk with eyes as big as saucers. They are staring at me because I am driving a death mobile directly toward them and there is nothing they can do. I slam on the brakes and spin the wheel back the other way. The pulsing of the anti-lock brakes is pounding under my foot as the car fights for traction. Finally my car stops with a shudder, sideways from its intended path but untouched by metal or skin and bones.
Traffic stops to allow me to extricate myself and I proceed down the intended path. My heart is racing and I am soaked in sweat. The other drivers - so important just 30 seconds ago - now forgotten.
How could I have been so stupid? What did I expect to accomplish if I had caught up to those who had done me wrong? Would I have crashed my car into theirs? Pulled up to the side of them and yelled about the indecency of cutting to the front of a line? Jumped out at the nearest opportunity and pulled them from the car to fight? What good would have come from any of those choices? Why did I engage in behavior that clearly had no positive upside?
All of us are tempted to engage in unproductive behavior - whether it is in the car or at the kitchen table or at work. Human behavior isn't always productive or rational. There is stimuli in the world that angers or upsets or disappoints us and we have reactions that are borne of genetics, emotional baggage or relationship history. When stimulated in certain ways, many of us believe our behaviors are justified by "I couldn't help myself".
In sales, the ability to avoid unproductive behavior is a critical factor in our success. Here are some common behaviors that should be avoided.
Sarcasm - Isn't it almost always used to demean or belittle someone?
Gossip - Two or more people getting together to discuss why someone else isn't as smart or pretty or sophisticated or well-liked or well-dressed as them. Not good.
Lying - When you're found out then everyone knows you aren't dependable - a real negative for those who want to get ahead.
Anger - Angry people are scary and scary people are to be avoided. Highly successful people draw others towards them instead of repelling them.
Dismissiveness - While it might take a minute or two longer to hear someone all the way through, the payoff is much bigger than the time saved by waving them off.
Discourteousness - There is a reason why your Mom told you to say "please" and "thank you" and "yes, sir" and "yes, ma'am". You are more likeable when you're more courteous.
Arrogance - If you act like you're better than the people with whom you currently associate they will do you the favor of disassociating themselves with you much sooner than you think.
Remember that there is always a split second between the time you've chosen your next action and the time you take the action. Use it to become more productive!
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Headlights flash in my side view mirror and I'm startled to see a Honda Accord approaching rapidly from the rear. Startled because the headlights are in my right mirror and I'm in the right lane - stopped. The Honda is driving up the shoulder of the road passing dozens of cars! Perhaps, the driver is turning at the intersection ahead and figures that most of us are going straight. In this case, passing us illegitimately might seem almost reasonable. But, wait! The light at the intersection has turned green and the Honda has dived into a gap left by an unwitting driver.
My hands tighten on the steering wheel. Did the others in line notice this? Just then another car passes me on the right! What?! Are you kidding?! This guy is going much faster - apparently aware that his timing is slightly off. The cars in line are beginning to pick up the pace as traffic clears the intersection. The gaps are fewer and harder to enter because of the increased speed. Just before having to turn right at the intersection, the second car dives into a tiny space and goes straight through the intersection. This time the reaction of his fellow drivers is immediate. A chorus of honks rains on head and we all hit our brakes to avoid the multi-car collision that was sure to follow.
I am livid! I punch the passenger seat. Something must be done, but what? Now, I'm moving forward and getting closer to clearing the intersection. I wonder if I'll be able to catch up to these miscreants and teach them a lesson about courteous driving. The light turns yellow and the car ahead of me hits his brake. No! I jerk the wheel to the right and punch the gas - exploding into the intersection and nearly colliding with cars that had just earned the right of way. Spinning the wheel to avoid a collision I see the most horrible sight a driver ever experiences - pedestrians in the cross walk with eyes as big as saucers. They are staring at me because I am driving a death mobile directly toward them and there is nothing they can do. I slam on the brakes and spin the wheel back the other way. The pulsing of the anti-lock brakes is pounding under my foot as the car fights for traction. Finally my car stops with a shudder, sideways from its intended path but untouched by metal or skin and bones.
Traffic stops to allow me to extricate myself and I proceed down the intended path. My heart is racing and I am soaked in sweat. The other drivers - so important just 30 seconds ago - now forgotten.
How could I have been so stupid? What did I expect to accomplish if I had caught up to those who had done me wrong? Would I have crashed my car into theirs? Pulled up to the side of them and yelled about the indecency of cutting to the front of a line? Jumped out at the nearest opportunity and pulled them from the car to fight? What good would have come from any of those choices? Why did I engage in behavior that clearly had no positive upside?
All of us are tempted to engage in unproductive behavior - whether it is in the car or at the kitchen table or at work. Human behavior isn't always productive or rational. There is stimuli in the world that angers or upsets or disappoints us and we have reactions that are borne of genetics, emotional baggage or relationship history. When stimulated in certain ways, many of us believe our behaviors are justified by "I couldn't help myself".
In sales, the ability to avoid unproductive behavior is a critical factor in our success. Here are some common behaviors that should be avoided.
Sarcasm - Isn't it almost always used to demean or belittle someone?
Gossip - Two or more people getting together to discuss why someone else isn't as smart or pretty or sophisticated or well-liked or well-dressed as them. Not good.
Lying - When you're found out then everyone knows you aren't dependable - a real negative for those who want to get ahead.
Anger - Angry people are scary and scary people are to be avoided. Highly successful people draw others towards them instead of repelling them.
Dismissiveness - While it might take a minute or two longer to hear someone all the way through, the payoff is much bigger than the time saved by waving them off.
Discourteousness - There is a reason why your Mom told you to say "please" and "thank you" and "yes, sir" and "yes, ma'am". You are more likeable when you're more courteous.
Arrogance - If you act like you're better than the people with whom you currently associate they will do you the favor of disassociating themselves with you much sooner than you think.
Remember that there is always a split second between the time you've chosen your next action and the time you take the action. Use it to become more productive!
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Excellent, well-written post Tim. I've done my share of unproductive behaviors, and I rarely do them anymore, but your post had me sitting right next to you there in your car, shaking my fist (and perhaps other parts of my hand) right there with you. Your post is a great reminder to refrain from unproductive behaviors. Inappropriately expressed anger is always a bad thing.
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Great point, we are in charge of the choice.
Far too often, like a doctor tapping your knee, we have a communication reflex, verse a chosen response.
Thanks again,
Mark
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Loved your post! Always nice to have a gentle reminder pause that tenth of a second to engage the brain before engaging the mouth!
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Great article and I needed it today. I lost out on a major deal and I was done for the rest of the day..
btw- i really like your blog and have been reading it for a while. I have includeed your blog in the top 10 sales blogs that i track on my site
http://www.b2breps.net
Best,
Dave
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